are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
