Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
