buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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