Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
