The maid of honor just puked.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
