If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
