Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
