bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
These tits shall not be calmed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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