so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
