It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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