Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize