My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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