I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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