Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
