im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
