That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize