a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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