he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
