I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
