just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
