How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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