Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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