Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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