how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
