i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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