btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
