rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
