im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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