can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
