I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
