Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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