Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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