I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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