Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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