it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
