Define "chronic" masturbator.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
