I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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