And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
