Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
