Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
do herpes really smell.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
