i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
