Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
