you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Holy shit dude........stairs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
