a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
