it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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