just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
