Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
