Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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