i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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