you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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