mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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